.Friday, August 04, 2006.
The last day.
It was the final call. The final call for me to end everything today. And I did.
[ You. I knew i had lost you. You have changed. I saw a different side of you. You are not who I used to know anymore. From the day when i knew that you did that, I had lost you. We once drove our cars at the same speed. Then, you picked up speed. Or perhaps it was my fault that i slowed down. You went faster and faster. I couldnt catch up anymore. I tried to do so but i still lagged far behind. What went wrong? You didnt even bother to look back. Not even once. In the end my car ran out of fuel. i stopped. I gave up. The people around me told me to buy fuel and contine the journey. I tried but you still didnt slow down and wait for me. Was it my fault that i am slow? In then end i stopped. I finally stopped my car today. I once blamed you. But not anymore. I know it was my fault. I didnt treasure what happened in the past. I lost you. I revisited many places today alone. Yes, i needed to be alone for a moment. I needed silence for a moment. I left quietly. Very quietly. I left quietly from your life. I went to the places i once found all my joy. Memories came flooding into my mind. Sometimes i really wished that i would lose my memory and forget about all in the past. Oh well. I know i cant. That's life. When one really feels the ultimate sadness, tears would never flow out of your eyes anymore. That is really misery. agony. I truly understand what that means today.
You lied. Over and over again. You are nice to your friends. But i hate it when you lie. You like to disturb your friends but hate it when people disturb you in the same way. You are really weird. You seemed to be smiling to me but in fact, you just threw a hundred daggers at me. Thanks for the wounds you inflicted on me. I know, it is never going to heal in the near future. Never. Please dont do that anymore. It is really painful. I am now waiting for the day when i feel nothing about all these. The day when i would be numb. I always leave my house with a healthy body but come home with a body full of scars. Today is the last day.
I know it is sad to say this. It was the last time i saw your back view. you are never coming back again. I know i have lost you. Goodbye, my good friend...]
That was my day. Does it sound very sad? Perhaps. I dont want to think anymore. So yes, I will just forget it. Today there was H3 tutorial. Damn it. I dont know how to do most of the questions.:( Oh well. Life. It is never smooth sailing. At least for me. Then i went to watch inter house captain's ball. Draco won! ahaha. The last match was played against Phoenix. My house vs my favourite colour. but the soccer guys could play quite well. Oh ya, now i finally know who is Justin and Joel. ahaha. Then i went off. I met junli and sheryl on the way. Took bus home with Junli. Junli is really good. She looked at me and could tell that something wasnt right. Sometimes i really admire junli and sheryl. They are really happy people. People who really enjoy their lives. How i wish i could be like them. I really wished. I was really tired on the bus. Drained. but this is going to the last time i am going to behave like that. Thank you my friend for all that you have once given me. it once matter whether you lied. but from now onwards, it is not going to matter anymore. My last good bye to you.
（我 失 去 過， 更 珍 惜 擁 有）
